I don't feel anything when my friends/family/relatives/anybody that knows me is happy or sad or anything. even(if i have) the close one.
I never tell people my real emotional state. not even my mother.
I always think of hurting people if i don't want them to be near me.
It's easy for me to fake smiles, cries, happiness, sadness, laughter, everything.
I believe in logical explanation and science above all.
I forget things very very easily.
I won't hesitate to do anything in order to get what i want.
so, am i human enough for all of you?
Selasa, 28 April 2009
Kamis, 23 April 2009
Death Rhymes With a Puzzle In It.
NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, DAY AFTER DAY
ON WEEKLY SERMON TO YOUR MIDNIGHT PRAY.
OVER YOUR SHOULDER, YOU FEEL LIKE SOMEONE'S WATCHING
NOT TO KILL YOU, JUST TO WATCH YOU DYING.
EVERY SINGLE WORD FROM YOUR MOUTH IS PRAYER FOR YOUR GOD,
KNOWING THAT SOMEONE'S GOING TO SPILL YOUR BLOOD.
NEVER GIVE ANYTHING TO ANYONE NEW,
OR ELSE, THE SMOKE YOU DRAG WOULD BE THE FINAL BLEW.
WITH ALL OF THESE, YOU MUST DIG YOURSELF FROM THE START
SO, THESE WORDS WOULD BE MERE JOKE WITH LOTS OF FUNNY PARTS.
ON WEEKLY SERMON TO YOUR MIDNIGHT PRAY.
OVER YOUR SHOULDER, YOU FEEL LIKE SOMEONE'S WATCHING
NOT TO KILL YOU, JUST TO WATCH YOU DYING.
EVERY SINGLE WORD FROM YOUR MOUTH IS PRAYER FOR YOUR GOD,
KNOWING THAT SOMEONE'S GOING TO SPILL YOUR BLOOD.
NEVER GIVE ANYTHING TO ANYONE NEW,
OR ELSE, THE SMOKE YOU DRAG WOULD BE THE FINAL BLEW.
WITH ALL OF THESE, YOU MUST DIG YOURSELF FROM THE START
SO, THESE WORDS WOULD BE MERE JOKE WITH LOTS OF FUNNY PARTS.
Now, When will the mysterious killer successfully kill this poor, religious man?
Comment immediately if you know the answer.
Comment immediately if you know the answer.
Selasa, 21 April 2009
Lucid Dream
6.00 am - wake up from an unpleasant sleep.
the day remains the same. Taking a cold, cold bath. It's bitter. the water feels like thousand needles piercing my back. I can't remember the last time morning gets this cold. Irritating. Yes, irritating. get my ass off the shower, Brush my teeth, shave, so on. The wardrobe looks like a black Ghoulish thing on the corner of my room. Take a glance inside. Red, white, black, gray, more black, more white, denim. White suits me today, i think.
8.00 am - workspace. Reeks aerosol.
Plump of clays sitting innocently on the desk. I start cutting it, carving it, drying it, painting it, drying it again, and voila.
It's a good toy, i guess.
13.00 pm - lunch break.
Streets are empty. It's weird. Oh, maybe because it's Monday. Take a little walk to warteg. Yes. WARTEG. It's a place for underclasses to gather and share their problems. The foods aren't bad. They just too cold.
Speaking of cold, it brings me some disturbing feelings about this morning.
Stomach is full. Take some drags. and go back to work.
14.30 pm - workspace.
It's all the same.
19.00 pm - computer. online.
It's relieving to see friends enjoying their lives. Well, some of them don't. But overall life's been fun for them. I'm glad to see that. I have one of them asking me "how about yours?" and i said it's quite fun. Refresh my mind with some games and shit. Well, being online is the most fun activities beside working and having sex.
00.00 am - bed. Headache.
Darkness finally devour the last of the lights as i turn off the bed lamp. It's been a tiring day.
But will it end now?
Will this day end?
I've been dreaming like this for a long, long time.
It keeps repeating itself.
Help me. Save me.
Wake me up.
Wake me up for real.
the day remains the same. Taking a cold, cold bath. It's bitter. the water feels like thousand needles piercing my back. I can't remember the last time morning gets this cold. Irritating. Yes, irritating. get my ass off the shower, Brush my teeth, shave, so on. The wardrobe looks like a black Ghoulish thing on the corner of my room. Take a glance inside. Red, white, black, gray, more black, more white, denim. White suits me today, i think.
8.00 am - workspace. Reeks aerosol.
Plump of clays sitting innocently on the desk. I start cutting it, carving it, drying it, painting it, drying it again, and voila.
It's a good toy, i guess.
13.00 pm - lunch break.
Streets are empty. It's weird. Oh, maybe because it's Monday. Take a little walk to warteg. Yes. WARTEG. It's a place for underclasses to gather and share their problems. The foods aren't bad. They just too cold.
Speaking of cold, it brings me some disturbing feelings about this morning.
Stomach is full. Take some drags. and go back to work.
14.30 pm - workspace.
It's all the same.
19.00 pm - computer. online.
It's relieving to see friends enjoying their lives. Well, some of them don't. But overall life's been fun for them. I'm glad to see that. I have one of them asking me "how about yours?" and i said it's quite fun. Refresh my mind with some games and shit. Well, being online is the most fun activities beside working and having sex.
00.00 am - bed. Headache.
Darkness finally devour the last of the lights as i turn off the bed lamp. It's been a tiring day.
But will it end now?
Will this day end?
I've been dreaming like this for a long, long time.
It keeps repeating itself.
Help me. Save me.
Wake me up.
Wake me up for real.
Jumat, 17 April 2009
The One Who Set Fire On Christmas Day
Tick,
Tick,
Tick,
People are laughing all around the Christmas tree. Everybody is having fun. one with their family, one with their friends, one with their lover, everybody.
Tick,
Tick,
Tick,
It's almost midnight. Everybody is gathering around the big Christmas tree at the center of the city. They're all full with joy and happiness. Old, Young, Men, Women, Moslem, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, All is One.
Tick,
Tick,
Tick,
Boom.
Rain of blood everywhere. Hands and heads and feet are flying. The smell of burning flesh reeks in the air. everybody starts panicking. wondering how many of them die tonight, 25th of December 2020. It's total chaos.
The war isn't over yet.
Tick,
Tick,
People are laughing all around the Christmas tree. Everybody is having fun. one with their family, one with their friends, one with their lover, everybody.
Tick,
Tick,
Tick,
It's almost midnight. Everybody is gathering around the big Christmas tree at the center of the city. They're all full with joy and happiness. Old, Young, Men, Women, Moslem, Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, All is One.
Tick,
Tick,
Tick,
Boom.
Rain of blood everywhere. Hands and heads and feet are flying. The smell of burning flesh reeks in the air. everybody starts panicking. wondering how many of them die tonight, 25th of December 2020. It's total chaos.
The war isn't over yet.
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